Pioneer Aficionado Gifts

Donner Party Pooper

'I told you we took a wrong trail at the Oregon/Idaho border, but NO, you wouldn't stop and ask for directions.'

Bite out of fishing pier.

"Alright! Whoa! Yes! More boiled food!"

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

Colonial Larrysburg.

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

'This it is, Ferguson! Finally, we found the legendary, mysterious snowmen crematory!'

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"My paper is on Paul Revere's famous ride form the standpoint of media impact across select stages of the colonial decision-making process."

Whatever works for you.

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

John Stuart Mill

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

"My husband is missing. I haven't seen him since he started wearing camouflage clothes."

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

Davy Crocat

'Why? Because it's there and I always want to cross it!'

'I know all about acclimatizing yourself for a high altitude climb, but I want to get the dinner out of the freezer!'

I'm Ok, You're Ok Corral

L'il Buckaroo.

'The Ben Franklin? What an honor! I see your 'Poor Richard's Almanack' in bathrooms all over the place!'

'Make sure you remove all the cookies when you're done.'

'Why are you people following me?'

A Classic Goldfish Game.

Disraeli and Bismarck aim for Compromise at Berlin Congress

'Okay, I'll be nice, but they'd better not stay long.'

Scott finds Amundsen got to Pole first and cries

"We're for calling it 'Hampton,' but they want to call it 'the Hamptons.' "

Archaeologists discover 'Stonehinge'.

'Yeah it's very Brighton!'

Early Space Blunders

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

"Yeah of course, I'm sure-footed too, but abseiling is still the safest way to get down..."