Pinot Grigio Aficionado Gifts

'And that's Mr. Clarke - bottle of Pinot Grigio, every Friday, 4:45 p.m.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

Cow Pinatas

Sauvignon Bonk

"Now I really hate poetry."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

You're the botanicals in my gin

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

"I make it myself!"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Wordplay: Export.

Woman thinking about luxuries.

Borgias holding a 'come as you wish to go' party

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"So the wife says to me, you need to take the dog out..." "Wine list, please."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."