Pillow Talk Humorist Pillows

'The keepers will be in soon - we better get back to the straw and bamboo.'

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

Pachyderm insomnia.

"What do you mean it could've been better?"

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

He liked his communication soft and cuddly.

'The girls in the office said you were very energetic in bed - the lying bastards!'

"Where do you to go?"

"Who's God?"

"I know you love me, I just wish you would take longer showing it."

"Next week is out. I'll be in Houston merchandising my pain."

Lawyer, couple in bed - 'Natalie, remember my mother said we shouldn't go to sleep without settling things...'

"Use your inside voice."

"Mother, you were right."

Sex Score

'I've never slept with a cartoonist before; will it be funny?'

Squawk dirty to me...

"You're a pig in bed."

"How did we do?"

"It's the sighs that count."

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'

"Let's explore why you detest my throw pillows."