Pillow Talk Humorist Gifts

'The keepers will be in soon - we better get back to the straw and bamboo.'

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

Pachyderm insomnia.

"What do you mean it could've been better?"

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

'Wow, that was unforgettable.'-'What was?'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

He liked his communication soft and cuddly.

"Where do you to go?"

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

'The girls in the office said you were very energetic in bed - the lying bastards!'

"Who's God?"

Lawyer, couple in bed - 'Natalie, remember my mother said we shouldn't go to sleep without settling things...'

Sex Score

"Next week is out. I'll be in Houston merchandising my pain."

"Mother, you were right."

"Use your inside voice."

"I know you love me, I just wish you would take longer showing it."

'Your eating in bed is really getting out of hand.'

"You're a pig in bed."

"How did we do?"

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'

"Let's explore why you detest my throw pillows."

"Jesus, Mike. Play me or trade me."