Pillow Talk Pundit Pillows

"Use your inside voice."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

Pachyderm insomnia.

"What do you mean it could've been better?"

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'The girls in the office said you were very energetic in bed - the lying bastards!'

He liked his communication soft and cuddly.

"Where do you to go?"

"I can see you're concerned about the amount of medication you're taking. Let me see if I can give you something for that."

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

'The keepers will be in soon - we better get back to the straw and bamboo.'

"Who's God?"

Sex Score

"Next week is out. I'll be in Houston merchandising my pain."

"I know you love me, I just wish you would take longer showing it."

Lawyer, couple in bed - 'Natalie, remember my mother said we shouldn't go to sleep without settling things...'

"Mother, you were right."

"You're a pig in bed."

"How did we do?"

"Let's explore why you detest my throw pillows."

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

"It's the sighs that count."

Squawk dirty to me...

'I've never slept with a cartoonist before; will it be funny?'