Pillow Talk Pundit T-Shirts

"Use your inside voice."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

Pachyderm insomnia.

"What do you mean it could've been better?"

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

'Wow, that was unforgettable.'-'What was?'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

'The girls in the office said you were very energetic in bed - the lying bastards!'

"Where do you to go?"

He liked his communication soft and cuddly.

"I can see you're concerned about the amount of medication you're taking. Let me see if I can give you something for that."

'The keepers will be in soon - we better get back to the straw and bamboo.'

"Who's God?"

'Your eating in bed is really getting out of hand.'

Lawyer, couple in bed - 'Natalie, remember my mother said we shouldn't go to sleep without settling things...'

"Mother, you were right."

Sex Score

"Next week is out. I'll be in Houston merchandising my pain."

"I know you love me, I just wish you would take longer showing it."

'I've never slept with a cartoonist before; will it be funny?'

Squawk dirty to me...

"You're a pig in bed."

"It's the sighs that count."

"Jesus, Mike. Play me or trade me."

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."