Pillow Talk Philosopher T-Shirts

"Who's God?"

'I've never slept with a cartoonist before; will it be funny?'

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

Pachyderm insomnia.

"What do you mean it could've been better?"

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

"Now give me something intimate to say."

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

"Where do you to go?"

He liked his communication soft and cuddly.

'The girls in the office said you were very energetic in bed - the lying bastards!'

'The keepers will be in soon - we better get back to the straw and bamboo.'

"I know you love me, I just wish you would take longer showing it."

"Use your inside voice."

Lawyer, couple in bed - 'Natalie, remember my mother said we shouldn't go to sleep without settling things...'

"Next week is out. I'll be in Houston merchandising my pain."

"Mother, you were right."

Sex Score

"Well which do you think is more likely, your pillow is growing hair or you're losing yours?"

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

"How did we do?"

"You're a pig in bed."

"Jesus, Mike. Play me or trade me."

"Let's explore why you detest my throw pillows."

"It's the sighs that count."

Squawk dirty to me...