Pillow Professional Pillows

'I give him one sleeping pill at night and another when he wakes up.'

Doze: the magazine for slumber enthusiasts

"I think I need an extra pillow."

'I think he thinks I'm a pillow.'

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

Pachyderm insomnia.

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"What do you mean it could've been better?"

Pillows in love.

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

"I don't care if you are on full alert, take that silly hat off before you tear the pillows to shreds!"

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

'It wasn't so much a hostile takeover as it was a best 2 out of 3 pillow fight.'

Cave Girl Slumber Parties

You will awake to discover a dream come true.

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

"There really is such a thing as having too many pillows."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'Maybe 'Bring Your Pillow To Work Day' wasn't such a good idea.'

'Tommy falls asleep in class.'

Are you kiddin'? Those babies are all made right here on the premises.

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'And the kids will go on treating the place like an hotel if you keep leaving them chocolate mints on their pillows.'

"You know your dog better than I do."

'And to mark your 50 years oversleeping...'

Sex Score

"Remember when all we had was lots of little pillows?"

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."