Pilates Participant Gifts

"Some pilates classes would really loosen you up."

Nervous Oral Testing

"Can I still do my pilates?"

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

Reasonableman

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

"I'm two weeks away from my Pilates badge."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

Suburban Legend

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

"O.K., fellas - calm down. Does it really matter which is better, yoga or Pilates?"

"I don't speak Yoga. I speak Pilates."

'You should now feel relaxed and at one with your whole body.'

"Your priorities change once you get a new toy."

'Jason and the Argosnaughts.'

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

Advanced pilates.

Rainbow Drinks

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

"Oh great!...He;s a fitness guru!!"

'I know it's my third doughnut, but it's okay. I'm using the Pilates method of dunking.'

'How's your pilates class doing?'

'A car crash? No Doc... advanced pilates!'

"Pilates! Not, pie and lattes!"

"Underground ostrich is next!"

"Okay, people! Let's get our Taylor Swift on!"

Pilates Creative Stretching Program.

attorney at law

'Okay I'll admit you do look foolish but on positive side you were only one letter out!'

Pilates of Penzance.

You're never too old for pilates!

'Look, the Mayas did Pilates!'