Pilates Practitioner Gifts

Pilates of Penzance.

"I don't speak Yoga. I speak Pilates."

Reasonableman

Pilates Creative Stretching Program.

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

Little doctor.

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"I'm two weeks away from my Pilates badge."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Suburban Legend

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

"O.K., fellas - calm down. Does it really matter which is better, yoga or Pilates?"

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

'You should now feel relaxed and at one with your whole body.'

Scheduel.

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

Advanced pilates.

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

'If you were in a hurry, sir, you shoudn't have ordered the overnight marinade.'

'Honey, don't wait with the supper. I'm in a traffic jam and I fear this will take a very, very long time...'

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

"Oh great!...He;s a fitness guru!!"

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

"People are always saying how stupid it is that the bst practitioners are always promoted and make poor managers....but I think that's complete rubbish...He was a lousy practitioner as well!"