Pilates Practitioner Gifts

Pilates of Penzance.

"I don't speak Yoga. I speak Pilates."

Reasonableman

Pilates Creative Stretching Program.

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

Little doctor.

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Can I still do my pilates?"

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"Try letting the ball come to you."

"I'm two weeks away from my Pilates badge."

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

How to Do Small Talk??!!

Suburban Legend

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

"O.K., fellas - calm down. Does it really matter which is better, yoga or Pilates?"

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

'You should now feel relaxed and at one with your whole body.'

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

Scheduel.

Advanced pilates.

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

'If you were in a hurry, sir, you shoudn't have ordered the overnight marinade.'

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

'Honey, don't wait with the supper. I'm in a traffic jam and I fear this will take a very, very long time...'