Piigs Ponderer Gifts

The Eurozone - Running On Empty

Mario Draghi

Happy thoughts

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.

"If you need us we're available 22/7."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

"I knew it was unnatural to jump that high out of water."

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

Energy speculation.

"I wonder if he's talking to me?"

"What d'you say we try sneaking out before the last one?"

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"You know, lentils have twice as much protein per serving."

'I'm just a struggling actor. Your insurance policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

'Well, how many pints do you weigh?'

"I'm pretty sure the alcohol neutralizes the gluten."

Sorry I've got Writer's Block.

Proponent of 11-dimensional supergravity trying to diagram it.

"Which one of us is me?"

'Eddy Penguin? I'm not sure, officer... Can you desctibe him?'

"Your pineapple empandas are delicious. Except for one thing."

Graffiti about dominoes, beer etc. Old man says: 'To deter vandals, I'm doing my own graffiti.'

"If this beer had a head it would hang it in shame."

"Why cull us when we could be retrained?"