Pigeon Wrangler Gifts

'Just ignore the pigeons and they'll go away.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

So you're a mocking bird...

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

'Come out with your fins up!'

Couple of Pikeys.

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"Careful Hank, this one still has some fight in him."

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

'Don't worry. I'm using carpet shampoo.'

The experience angler is prepared for little snags of courses and knows the most scientific way to deal with them.

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'That beagle sure is a tough case!'

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

'Let's go, Denmore. The free-range chickens are stampeding towards the canyon.'

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'Fresh eggs!'

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

Steve Irwin.

Show Jumping Tantrums

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

Naughty Puppy Dog.

Snake Dress-Up

"I handle chatty people for him."

'You spoil those pigeons.'

"How may times do I have to tell you to flush? Gosh, will I ever get you potty trained?!"

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

'I think the temperature's a bit low in the Terrarium!'