Picky Plate Gifts

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

"Please don't kill me."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

“Children hate me.”

"Life is so unfair! There are already ants in the cake but none in the broccoli casserole!"

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

"I'll have the carrot cake, hold the carrots."

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

"Still workin' on that, sir?"

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'

"If they don't like the food, try to explain to them how hard it is to cook really good food."

'He's very fussy about his food.'

"I'll have filet mignon, and she'll have the chef whip up something with no meat, dairy, wheat, soy or flavor."

"Hey Mom... we're all out of junk food!"

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."