Picky Pet Sympathizer Gifts

'And he's so picky about what brand of tiny toilet paper he'll use. It would be much easier if we could just train him to use the litter box like the rest of us!'

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

Dogs all across town saw fit to teach their owners a little empathy...

Separation

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

"We will have to go back. The dog wants to go out."

"Enough with the criticism!"

"I tried blogging, texting and tweeting. . . but there's no better way to express anger than barking!"

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

"It's no bed of mice and string for me either."

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

'How many times did I say it? Rex, I said, don't go too close to the cliff.'

Sorry to hear about your accident.

'Stop Fred, don't taunt this one: He's a guide dog...'

'Don't worry Vicar. He's only looking at you like that because you're eating off his plate...'

Cat Attitude

'Heal!' 'Heel!'

"I know it's pricey, but I think going back to the old food is probably a good

Innocent Civilians