Picky Eating Humorist Gifts

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"Please don't kill me."

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

'Strained Carrots Again? What am I being punished for this time?'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'