Picky Eating Humorist Pillows

"Are you sure it's vegan?"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Charles didn't like tofu."

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Please don't kill me."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

He wanted a different one.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

'Strained Carrots Again? What am I being punished for this time?'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'