Picky Eater Humorist Gifts

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

In lieu of wishbones, vegetarian children often use a slab of tofu.

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

"Ah, Indian pudding-- the coup de grâce"

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'It was probably the curds and whey that really frightened Miss Muffet away.'

You'll-Eat-Whatever-We-Give-You Bistro

"I don't care what mom calls them. I've never heard of a McBrussels Sprout before."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

"Life is so unfair! There are already ants in the cake but none in the broccoli casserole!"

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

“Children hate me.”

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

"That cat is just finicky...I think the cat food tastes just fine! How about you, Herb?"

"There were hooves in my lunch! I told you I don't like hooves."

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

"You don't like my cooking, do you?"

"I changed my mind about eloping with you, Billy....my mother didn't fix broccoli for dinner after all!"