Physical Education Instructor Gifts

Vending Machines

"Sit still why I explain why exercise is important."

Pupil in gym class being sawn out of climbing frame.

Teacher teaching beam technique to students, girl with dunces hat and leg cast.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

Muscles

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"I AM at my usual position."

'What goes up, must come down!' 'Not if you give it enough thrust, to send it flying forever across the face of the universe.'

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Exercise Class

"We're exclusively delts."

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

The best PE teacher in the World.

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

Man about dog parasailing: 'He's a water dog and a birder.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

'Fitness guru.'

National Academy of Sport

Personal Potty Trainer

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."