Physical Education Instructor Gifts

Vending Machines

"Sit still why I explain why exercise is important."

Pupil in gym class being sawn out of climbing frame.

Teacher teaching beam technique to students, girl with dunces hat and leg cast.

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Muscles

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"I AM at my usual position."

'What goes up, must come down!' 'Not if you give it enough thrust, to send it flying forever across the face of the universe.'

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Exercise Class

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"We're exclusively delts."

The best PE teacher in the World.

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

Brad discovers what can happen when you don't wash your gym clothes...

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Man about dog parasailing: 'He's a water dog and a birder.'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'Fitness guru.'

National Academy of Sport

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

"Papi, will you play build-a-model-rocket-so-we-can-calculate-acceleration-rates-and-thrust-levels-for-maximum-payload with me? Please?!"