Phrenologist Gifts

Dog phrenology

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

Overcrowding's becoming a real problem in our penal system

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

OMG UR HOT

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

Friedrich Nietzsche

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"Since you're always asking, here's a list of my various kinds of sighs, with explanation of what each one means."

Stenographer wants 15 minutes of court repeated

'You have a very advanced case of athlete's foot.'

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

"I just love take-out."

"Gesundheit."

Ophiologist

Elvis' autopsy

'I want to biopsy that growth, Mr. Johnson. I don't like the looks of it.'

"Doesn't seem to matter how carefully you put them back together you always end up with pieces left over!"

"Clerk, I'd like Madame Foreperson's remarks about a well-hung jury stricken from the record."

Pathology.

'From the hobble you describe, I'd say you're not wearing the right walking shoe.'

The Forensic Paleontologist