Phrenologist T-Shirts

Dog phrenology

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

OMG UR HOT

Overcrowding's becoming a real problem in our penal system

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

Friedrich Nietzsche

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"Since you're always asking, here's a list of my various kinds of sighs, with explanation of what each one means."

Stenographer wants 15 minutes of court repeated

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

Ophiologist

'You have a very advanced case of athlete's foot.'

"Gesundheit."

"I just love take-out."

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

'I want to biopsy that growth, Mr. Johnson. I don't like the looks of it.'

"Doesn't seem to matter how carefully you put them back together you always end up with pieces left over!"

"Clerk, I'd like Madame Foreperson's remarks about a well-hung jury stricken from the record."

Over the years Dr Litmus had developed a very strong stomach - Reading anatomy book while eating breakfast

"Check it out, bro - this pneumatic tub pipes us from the frat to Wallstreet."

Pathology.

The Forensic Paleontologist