Phrasebook Flub Expert Gifts

Somewhere in France - "Here is your yellow canary", has not, so far, been the most useful of phrases.

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

I will study my speling words...

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Someone who knows apostrophes

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"Nuts to you, too."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"I've just invented the question mark."

Sometimes Y Turn

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"Call me, Ishmael."

"If you want to sing in our band, you'll have to overcome your fear of using double negatives."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

English Lesson No. 1

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"How did this comma get in with all the pieces?"

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

Psychiatry. I have an irrational fear of words like "and," "or," "but" and "if"! And, conjunctivitis!

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

Proof Reading

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

Nobody's Perfact (spelled wrong)