Phrasebook Flub Expert Pillows

Somewhere in France - "Here is your yellow canary", has not, so far, been the most useful of phrases.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

I will study my speling words...

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Someone who knows apostrophes

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

"Nuts to you, too."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"I've just invented the question mark."

Sometimes Y Turn

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"If you want to sing in our band, you'll have to overcome your fear of using double negatives."

"Call me, Ishmael."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

English Lesson No. 1

"How did this comma get in with all the pieces?"

Proof Reading

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

Nobody's Perfact (spelled wrong)

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.