Photo Slideshow Survivor Gifts

"I hate this time of year..."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

Desert Island BBQ

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

"For cryin' out loud, Frank, we don't have all day! Cut to the cheese!"

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

Meeting not going well?"

Unsuccessful board meeting.

'And in conclusion.'

"Maybe you do have all the answers but they didn't match any of our questions."

"If nothing else, school has prepared me for a lifetime of backpacking."

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

That's not the reaction I was going for. Let me try to put a different spin on it.

violence in workplace

There's a real disconnect going on here.

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

'And this chart shows our rate of growth.'

'I have identified 240 stages of organizational change. Before I discuss them, coffee anyone?'

"Today's meeting will be endless, with a half-hour break for lunch."

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

'This is the most dysfunctional company I've ever seen. Everyone is in complete denial about the elephant in the boardroom!'