Phone Renegade Pillows

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

Music Freak.

A man without a chicken on his head!

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

Marriage therapist's office is filled with erotic art.

Exams

'But this IS my mobile home!'

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

"Where do you keep the non-educational stuff?"

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

Solar Storm Expected!

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

'My Ed is a lawyer. All of his New Year's resolutions have escape clauses.'

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"You know how to whistle, don't you? Just pick up the phone and call the S.E.C."

Cluster Catastrophe

'The cows are out and are not expected back.'

"Well, I liked it until I read the reviews."

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

'Just what kind of girl do you think I am?'

"I'm giving up giving up!"

'Every year, I make a New Year's resolution, but I never stick to it, and it's embarrassing when people ask me about it...this year I'm just going to lie through my teeth when people ask.'

'Welcome to the logo-in-each-corner channel'

Pirate Radio