Phone Patience Master Gifts

'If you are still on hold, ask yourself 'why'?'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Try letting the ball come to you."

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Women

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

Snail crossing

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

Road work next 15 years.

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

A knowledge of where the fish are likely to be located can save hours of frustration.

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

'Sure, long waits don't bother you. You've served time.'

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.