Phone Patience Master T-Shirts

'If you are still on hold, ask yourself 'why'?'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Try letting the ball come to you."

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Snail crossing

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

Women

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

Road work next 15 years.

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

A knowledge of where the fish are likely to be located can save hours of frustration.

'Sure, long waits don't bother you. You've served time.'

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

'I like to spend my train journeys reading fiction.' (He looks at Rail Timetable. Sign says 'Delays expected'.)