Phone-free Enthusiast Gifts

"Let's see who can go the longest without looking at their phone. On your mark, get set, you win."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Oh, it's me... Time out. I've gotta take this.'

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

Thermidor Dali

'And now for the anesthesia: I've got plenty of conventional anesthetics I could use here but you can also choose to spend half an hour on the phone with my mother...'

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

"The wattle fairy came again last night."

'I'm on the way!'

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

'When I said that I'd 'give you a ring', I meant on the phone. . .'

'Now let's call and see what time it is in CHINA!'

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

"Fire department? Yes, this is a cat and, well, big surprise here, I'm stuck in a tree... But here's the odd part—I am staring at no less than five other cats, all stuck in this same tree. So weird, huh?"

I'm looking at photos of potential dates here. Your "screening" process.

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

'Ahem. No txtng PLZ."

What technique! She'll just keep calling herself until this guy has to leave!

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

"He's standing upright and using a mobile phone. I think our evolution has begun."

'If you don't mind, I'm trying to use the telephone here.'

Hello, 911? … The pizza place isn't answering their phone!!

"He'll come to eat when he can interrupt dinner. He's playing telemarketer."

'Environmental dept? Yes, just a query. It's August, it's 85?. It has been for 3 months now...'

"See, this is why you sleep through my 4AM water calls - too much blue light at bedtime."