Phone Call Coordinator Pillows

Communications Department.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Conference Pears

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'And in conclusion.'

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

The Aisle

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

'And in conclusion...'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'