Phone Call Coordinator T-Shirts

Communications Department.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Inclusive speech

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Conference Pears

'And in conclusion.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

The Aisle

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

'And in conclusion...'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'