Philosophical Fun Gifts

"Who was first?"

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

Going Down?

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

The Meaning of Life

'Now, as many of you know, I was the Monkey's uncle...'

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

The Birth of Philosophical Thought Experiments.

'When I was ready to read, they taught me to tie my shoes - when I was ready to tie my shoes, they taught me to read.'

Today's Sermon: Is There Really A Dog?

Well, I think we know who wears the pull-ups in that relationship.

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

'There are limits to this seriousness, sir!'

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

Time Tree

"It might sound silly, but I don't think this job is good for my diet."

'Really? -- the hokey-pokey IS what it's all about?'

Statue Farts.

"What particle collider physicists do in their spare time"

It was the day Malcolm found God.

"You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about."