Philosopher Of Dessert T-Shirts

'You realize, we can't have frozen yogurt EVERY day.'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

Ice Cream Dreams.

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Avocado Timeline

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

How to make your own snickers bar

"It's a calling. Someone has to help feed the less fortunate."

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

"I've been working with pain-killers - anti-inflammatories, muscle relaxants..."

"If a bowl of ice cream isn't the answer, you're asking the wrong question."

"An intellectual is a man who can look at a Mondrian without thinking of Battenburg cake."

"Which entrée raises the fewest ethical issues?"

'Oh no, how do I tell them that I don't like Angel Food cake?'

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

"She keeps trying to mold me into her own image."

"Why is living my best life so fattening?"

"I'm always tempted by the more esoteric flavors- if only out of pity."

'Join me in a Gelato!'

'Cake philosophy'

I'm having fun, all in all. But there is one question which I attempted to answer and no matter what, I fail: Why do candy stores have business hours?

I like worms --- I just don't know if I want to make them my life's work.

"I know, it's not easy being an avocado - you never feel like you're good enough, then BAM, you're past your prime."

"Poor jelly babies. It's a short like, and a chewy one."

Fortune Cookies

Culinary Exams

"I was born a doughboy but I identify as a crescent roll."

"No kidding… the meaning of life is Twizzlers?!"