Pharmacy Visits Gifts

'Calcium supplements: aisle three, bottom shelf.'

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'The pharmacy didn't have any sleep masks, but they had a sale on duct tape.'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'I'm sorry lady, we're all sold out!'

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Laxatives - "I'm after some comic relief."

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

'Side effects may include....'

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

Hospital Departments

Doctors

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'Have there been any side effects from the medicine?'

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."