Pharmacy Frequenter Gifts

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"That's me. I've had sixty-two."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Drug vending machines at hospital.

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

Medical Supplies

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'The $39.95 is for the prescription, sir, and the $7 surcharge is a little something for our handwriting expert.'

"Doric Ionic Ozempic"

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

Side Effects

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

'These smart pills are overpriced!"

"He thinks he's invented a fluted, or grooved, top for pill bottles so that he can tip out a single pill rather than have a cascade of them rolling about on the kitchen or bathroom floor."

'Have you got anything for late onset whimsy?'

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

Pirate Artist

"I might suggest Ritalin."

'Don't worry about the side effects. You already suffer from all the side effects caused by this medication.'

'Side effects? You have to worry about side effects?'

'I own Acme Drug stock, so fill this prescription with their product.'

'I don't understand why you don't want to take your daily medication.'

The over-the-counter versions

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"These have severe side effects but they may not have enough time to bother you."