Pharmaceutical Satire Gifts

'Our trials show that the new drug performs no better than placebo.'

"It's what the people want. You run wild for a couple of hours and then - zap - you're back to normal."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"That new drug causes flatulence."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"We've managed to cut down the 16 pills you're taking to just one!"

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

'So how did you manage to get your saline replaced with lager?'

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

Sea of Tranquillity

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

"More ashtray, nurse! For God's sake, more ashtray!"

'What can you give me for my liver?' 'A pound of onions!'

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

We need to up your dosage or lower mine.

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

"It's the online blood bank. Do we want to continue shopping?"

"Now I'm going to offer a second opinion."

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

Medical Professional Birthdays.

"We still don't have a diagnosis for your rash, so we're going to run some more money on it and see what happens."

Self-Service Dentist

'Well, good morning Mr. Daniel, have a seat in our waiting room.'

"You're in luck. I've had great success with eggplant."

Leo and Florence Wolfe play medication commercial BINGO during the nightly news.

"… Yes, but you only have to take it once a year."

You say the plumage has lasted longer than four hours?