Phantasmagoria Fanatic T-Shirts

"How do I keep my kids in line? I threaten to rent out the space under their beds to monsters."

The Fourth Little Pig

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

The tooth fairy.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

Lady of the bath...

ET Mishap

Ghost School.

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

Boy and Bear and Monster

"What the hell took so long?"

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"Where the wild things were."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

Newt sale

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Warrior Woman

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.