Phantasmagoria Fanatic Pillows

"How do I keep my kids in line? I threaten to rent out the space under their beds to monsters."

The Fourth Little Pig

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

The tooth fairy.

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

Ghost School.

Lady of the bath...

ET Mishap

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

Newt sale

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

"Where the wild things were."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"What the hell took so long?"