Mythical Fanatic Pillows

Weigh station

The Fourth Little Pig

The tooth fairy.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Lady of the bath...

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

Swiss army knife

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Newt sale

Warrior Woman

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

Catasaurus

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."