Mythical Enthusiast Pillows

'The instruments are suggesting that the heat pump is receiving a temperature of 105...what could possibly be heating the ground that much?'

'Yeah, I'm a unicorn! Agreed, it's not how we're portrayed in books...'

'Why do I always get un-friended? I'm a nice troll.'

Well speak of the devil! Look who's home.

'You'll find that I belong to an extremely small demographic group.'

'You would have to go back after your umbrella'

Mermaid in swimming race.

'I'm afraid it's the weather!'

'I met your father on a fairytale weekend in Yosemite. It was love at first sighting.'

'It slices, it dices...'

'I'll bet our howling is irritating the hell outta Big Foot.'

At the end of the rainbow

Catch of the day

'I'm a mer-mis-maid'

Mermaid Environmentalist

"I don't really believe in the tooth fairy anymore, but if it pays, I play!"

Mermaids

"As a vegan vampire I suck, but I don't swallow."

Tell the skipper the auditor is here.

Phoenix

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"You played a perfect round, Ned. What's your secret?"

"The reporter says that this photo shows a politician who cares more about the well-being of the votes and the country than his own!"

"Your neighbour isn't at home, do you mind signing for this?"

He was never picked last because everyone always wanted Father Time on their side.

"Just the one piece of luggage?"

"It's crypto."

"Cyclops at the DMV"

"I get this all the time. Other end!"

"I told you getting bangs was a stupid idea."

The Tooth Fairy soon realized that her collection of teeth had gotten out of hand. She was a hoarder and needed help.

Fountain of Eternal Youth.

"No sweetie, the tooth fairy doesn't exist - not since that incident at the Peterson's."

"Yes, that's some of our best work!"

Running with the Devil.