Mythical Being Fanatic Pillows

'We're experiencing technical difficulties with the geni fulfilment center. A geni will be with you shortly.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Fourth Little Pig

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

The tooth fairy.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Lady of the bath...

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

Boy and Bear and Monster

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Warrior Woman

Newt sale

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Catasaurus

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.