Petrol Station Owner T-Shirts

Beast of burden.

Prices of oil

Petrol Prices: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

What's the difference between a mugger and the guys who set gasoline prices?

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

Cut Price

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

US Energy Needs.

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

Car Breast-Feeding

Psychic Car Mechanics.

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Uh-oh.'

Acme Petroleum, since 1925 and 9/10.

"You never know what will catch on!"

It's an I-O-Ewe.

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

"I had no alternative Mr. Prendergast. Your daughter fell and broke her leg."

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

Joan of Arch

Self Service Island

Bob tries to cash in on Hollywood's success.

Temporarily closed to rethink our concept.

'Fill up your tank, sir?'

'Hey, Ruby, want to give this guy an estimate?'

You're not selling those silly upside-down tomato contraptions? I confess. They're fun! Fun? They're an affront to mother nature and common sense. A $3 seed packet grows enough for five families. Why sell over-priced fads? Mother nature never offered to pay my rent.

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

'Personally I wouldn't be seen dead in it.'