Petition Enthusiast Gifts

"So you'll sign our petition for more playroom for kids..."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Can our software do that?'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Putin and Zelensky

Tension filled the tent.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

Exercise Class

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Running

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"It seemed like miles to me!"

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

"I told him he should have trained more."

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Keep Fit.

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!