Pet Video Junkie Pillows

"I’ve recently started self-medicating with viral pet videos."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"She's all over YouTube."

'You see, I didn't lie, the Internet is full of puppy and kitten videos: We could make a fortune!'

'No, that isn't my slippers either! Try again.'

"For far too long, we've missed out on the opportunity to profit from our videos."

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"We're paying the best social media consultants in town and we're still not getting as many hits as you. What's your secret!?"

"That's our cat - he's not famous."

"Talk about evil creatures, cats seem to have taken over the internet: They're everywhere!"

"I'm detecting no heart at all...which explains your dislike of cute puppy videos."

"I love my master, but if I have to watch him play one more video of dogs loving the family cat...I'm leaving home!"

"Your wife says she doesn't want to speak to you, she wants you to get out your phone and show her funny dog videos."

Dog scared by cat.

"Your screen time is up, but your dog time is down."

"Creating man can wait; come look at what these kittens are doing. They're sooo adorable."

"Big deal! You're still all bums to me."

'How do you plan on attracting visitors to an antisocial website?'

"Honestly, ever since I withdrew from the world and submerged myself in videos of round animals, I've been feeling so much better!"

"It didn't work out. I'm a cat videos person and he's a dog videos person."

"Who would believe this was invented by nerds?"

"Yes, I watched your audition video - twice. It's okay. But in all honesty, you just don't have that certain je ne sais quoi needed to go viral."

'Don't tell anyone, but even I'm getting tired of cat stuff on the internet.'

"In case I actually do something."