Dog Video Aficionado Pillows

"Your wife says she doesn't want to speak to you, she wants you to get out your phone and show her funny dog videos."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"She's all over YouTube."

"Another slander suit!"

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

Who Let the Dawg In?

'You see, I didn't lie, the Internet is full of puppy and kitten videos: We could make a fortune!'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

'It's a dogwood tree. I can tell by it's bark.'

Dog wearing his master's shoes.

The Most Interesting Dog in the World. . .

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

'The batter's crowding the plate. Try dusting him off at the knees. If that doesn't work, throw it high and inside. If he still won't back off, charge the plate and bite him.'

'Thanks for helping me load the dishwasher - now would you please take the cat out before starting it up!'

"Don't you love this time of year when the squirrels taste like pumpkin spice?"

'Now that I've been cloned, I can sleep twice as much.'

'Didn't you know that I read the comics every morning before I take the newspaper to Master?'

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

Fleas Navidad.

"You taught me how to sit, roll over and fetch, Roger. In appreciation, I'd like to share with you a few things I've learned about hedge fund management!"

Village Pet Shop.

Women with her children of leashes passes dog walker with dogs so well trained they have no leashes.

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

Sheepdog

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

"Well, it's 3 degrees outside: let's see what excuse Master will come up with this time to cancel our walk..."

Balloon Dog

'Okay, I'll do one more dog food commercial, but I don't want to get typecast.'

'What do you know about the Information Superhighway, and where do we fit in?'

"I didn't it, I read it, so guess who just graduated cum laude from Dinsdale High?"

"Line three,…. call of the wild."

'No, birds, mostly.'