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Puppy school vs. kitten school

'Yes, the training here is very thorough!'

"Instead of obedience school, I sent him to a golf camp."

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

Welcome to the Team

'Bert's dog training.'

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Settle down boy, they're not actual cat-fish."

"Don't even think about it."

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

'Relax, sir. He's a Border Colie - smartest of all breeds!'

Dog with Anchor Lead