Pet Smitten Gifts

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

"Pick me!"

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Canine Companion

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

Love Conquers All

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"Did you get my tweet?"

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"He's already getting attached to you."

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Author's Bio-diversity.

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"The old tricks, young fellow, have served me well."