Pet Smitten Gifts

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

"Pick me!"

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Canine Companion

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Love Conquers All

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Did you get my tweet?"

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

"He's already getting attached to you."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

Author's Bio-diversity.

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'