Pet Shop Humorists Pillows

"I'm afraid Benson is all through."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Cats at private view

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Dogs life

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Clown walks balloon dog

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'