Pet Shop Comedians Pillows

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Dogs life

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Cats at private view

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'I don't think Marmaduke has ever seen a vegetarian before.'

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

Clown walks balloon dog

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!