Pet Puns Professional Pillows

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Iguana know what time it is.'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Pet Cemetery.

Dog Walker

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

'That was nice of them to order us a new scratching post!'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

"Do you think Papi will let us have a puppy?"

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

Jerry had a difficult time coming up with cartoon ideas over the noise his dogs made. '...so then the cat says, 'No, thanks. I'll clean it myself.' 'Ha,ha! Yeah, that's a good one,Phil!'

Dogs Home: Beware of the Human

Licker Store

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

Chasebook for Dogs

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

'I get a lot of job offers..'

'Sure, we could fetch things for them, but why raise their expectations.'

"Mr. Jingles thinks they sell it on eBay."

"Like most of your proposals Pinkley ...it ain't gonna fly!"

'They're for a friend.'

"Would you like a 'scratching' or 'non-scratching' room?"

"Find another place to dump that crap. This stall is occupied."

". . . But, according to your cat, you had a fur ball contract."

"He's a shiitake."

"Jack Russell?"