Pet Puns Professional Gifts

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Iguana know what time it is.'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Dog Walker

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"Do you think Papi will let us have a puppy?"

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

Jerry had a difficult time coming up with cartoon ideas over the noise his dogs made. '...so then the cat says, 'No, thanks. I'll clean it myself.' 'Ha,ha! Yeah, that's a good one,Phil!'

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

Dogs Home: Beware of the Human

"Like most of your proposals Pinkley ...it ain't gonna fly!"

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

'I get a lot of job offers..'

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

'Sure, we could fetch things for them, but why raise their expectations.'

"Mr. Jingles thinks they sell it on eBay."

'They're for a friend.'

"Would you like a 'scratching' or 'non-scratching' room?"

'Not all my kids went to the dogs...some of them went to the cats.'

'If provoked - his remarks can be scathing.'

". . . But, according to your cat, you had a fur ball contract."

'It would never work, Shep - I'm housebroken, you're not.'

"Find another place to dump that crap. This stall is occupied."