Pet Patrol Aficionado T-Shirts

"That's Charles' new gun dog."

Police Feline Unit

Welcome to the Team

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

'Relax, sir. He's a Border Colie - smartest of all breeds!'

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

Spot the fur ball.

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"Seven, eight, nine, ten..."

Man's best friend - Man's worst friend - Man's only friend.

Cat scratches dog's car.

'Look, mom! They ran out of trick or treat candy, so they gave us these kittens!'

Dog driving and man leaning out of open window.

"Not really. I went on the green carpet just before we came out."

"You're under arrest for breaking the law of gravity! You have the right to..."

'Can I have your autograph...?'

Watchdog

'...and how much experience have you of sushi making?'

'Can we keep him?'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

This here's my kitty! I call er Whiskers!

Arcarde Patrol

"Unlike the case for dogs, the people that cats own don't grow to look like them. I mean, seriously, what human could look as good as this?"

"Poppy has left the dog kennel. I repeat Poppy has left the dog kennel...Yes, yes, we have a code brown!"

"Tell me about your fear of policemen."

It's amazing how people slow down when you point a hair dryer at them.

Domestic event in the Zoological Gardens No. III. - The hippopotamus has quite recovered, and is taken out for an airing.

'Where does Doctor Davis practice?...'

'That's right, my Master follows me on my walk with a plastic bag in his hand: I have no privacy anymore...'

'Byt the way, what have you been eating? Because your crap tastes like crap!'

Street trader tricking police.

"Look at you! What's your name? Huh, cutie? What's your name? I can see the man walking you is of no help. We won't judge his rude behavior. No, we won't, will we?…"